✍🏾Heartbreak and Faith

Using Neuroscience & The Bible to Overcome Intimate Heartbreak

Heartbreak is a form of grief. Although we experience heartbreak from experiences like the loss of a loved one or pet, there are no funerals, public condolences, or leaves of absence for a broken heart. Intimate heartbreak is a complex form of grief because people often walk the journey of recovery alone. I was partially raised in a small town where many southern people migrated (including my family). Between southern culture and church culture, when someone dies, you don’t just take a card or flowers. I have several memories of my mom packing me up and going to the grocery store in order to drop off a homemade or store bought item. When people lose a loved one, the community shows up to show support during bereavement.

When you went through a breakup, did people bring you juice, fried chicken, and cups? Did you ever receive flowers and cards from your friends after your divorce or bad breakup? If your answer is no, neither did I. If you answered “sure”, then I would love to hear your story. Most people hide their breakup for as long as possible or tell their closest friends and family in hopes of consolation and support. Best case scenario, support is provided, received, and healing ensues. Unfortunately, some people are met with mixed reactions from their circle. “It’s about time”, “I knew he was no good”, “there’s a lot more women out there bro” (I don’t know if men say that, I needed an example for men) - these are some of the statements that can make the hurt even worse. If you were the heartbreaker, the reality is, you can still hurt from the loss, but you won’t get a lot of sympathy. But, as Believers especially, healing is vital to our ministry/purpose and is promised to us (see 1 Peter 2:24, Psalm 147:3).

Intimate heartbreaks are ugly and the pain can last for years if left untreated. What’s worse, loss from divorce often bleeds into other areas like finances, physical health, and relationships with children and extended family. Even if it was a dating relationship, physical and emotional side effects from a breakup can include:

• Inability to focus/concentrate

• Agitation

• Moodiness

• Fatigue

Thankfully, there is healing. My prescription is a combination of Faith and science. My childhood dream was to be a doctor, and I studied health, so you will always get a fake script from me (lol). I greatly believe in therapy/counseling and I deeply believe that God both loves and is near to the brokenhearted (Psalms 34:18). We can trust in therapeutic exercises while also trusting God to divinely work on people and areas that were casualties of the loss (including our hearts). Our Heavenly Father and Creator is deeply invested in our wellbeing and healing. We aren’t destined to just be healed, but whole.

Your beautiful, broken heart can heal

My online course, Your Beautiful Broken Heart (© 2018) is available here. It is interactive, informative, and a unique way to either start the healing or get you out of the fog. Although I had my fair share of disappointments and losses, it wasn’t until one particular heartbreak that I understood the gut wrenching impact of a breakup.

I could list so many, but here a few other resources that have blessed me maybe aren’t the conventional or most popular suggestions:

1. Nicole D. Miller How to Overcome Heartbreak: Recovering from Misguided Love / Stories that Heal (books)

2. Phil J. Broken Hearts (song)

3. Shiela Walsh God Loves Broken People (and those who pretend not to be) book

What resources helped you on your journey to healing?