Continuing our series on Heartbreak, Grief, & Loss, we are joined by counselor, author, and pastor, Bishop Demetrius J. Sinegal, Ph.D. In this episode you will hear Bishop Sinegal share his journey to healing after the viral news of his spouse’s affair with a friend and colleague. You also get the background stories that are not found in the book!While many pastors are entering the trendy dating and relationship space, Bishop Sinegal has entered to reclaim the voice trauma attempted to steal from him. His new book, Scarred But Healed: I look like what I've been through, is a public breaking of his silence and an anatomy lesson of relational trauma aka betrayal trauma. Bishop Sinegal is also intentional on shifting the church culture surrounding betrayal trauma, singleness, and dating with his online show #ChristiansMingleLive and social media thread-turned-devotional Dear Singles: 30 Days of Wisdom for Singles. Dr. Sinegal is also helping victims of gross clergy abuse and predatory clergy sexual misconduct as the founder and executive director of Safehouse #Unmuzzled Advocacy Group.
While reading Scarred But Healed I was relieved that this was a church leader who was transparent and had “done the work” to overcome the trauma of intimate heartbreak. I was also saddened by the author’s experiences, yet appreciative of the insight from his recovery journey. Recovery from betrayal included prayer and what Dr. Sinegal calls “God through therapy.” Though painful, the process of healing can yield unimaginable results and avenues of purpose. As with the former guests in this series, I greatly appreciate Bishop Sinegal’s wisdom and time.
Notes:
✍🏾 Divorce, especially after betrayal, is traumatic and results in grief.
✍🏾Bishop Sinegal shares how his positive family model created some negative marital expectations (around minute mark 9:30)
✍🏾Betrayal aka relational trauma is serious and involves damage to the tri-part nature or body (physical), soul (emotional), and spirit (spiritual).
✍🏾Staggard disclosure is commonly used by betrayers to “soften the blow” of the trauma (time stamp around minute 16:30).
✍🏾 Individual purpose vs collective purpose (around minute mark 25:50)
✍🏾 It’s okay to look like what we have been through, our wounds-turned-scars serve as proof and power of victory over the trauma (discussed around 54:00 mark)
✍🏾Forgiveness: Therapeutic vs Biblical (around time mark 01:09:40)
✍🏾 Appropriate therapy was not easy to find (around 01:09:40), but therapy was “God’s vehicle to bring Bishop Sinegal to a place of stability” (about 01:18:01). Barriers to therapy for men (01:20:02)
✍🏾Friends and investing in other relationships were meaningful in the process of healing (around mark 01:24:23)
Guest Bio:
Bishop Demetrius J. Sinegal, Ph.D. is a noted pastor and spiritual leader. His teachings often are said to effect a paradigm shift in the spirit and minds of those who hear him leaving an indelible impression that provokes life transformations.
He has earned a Bachelors of Science in political science, a masters of arts in pastoral counseling, and finally earned a Ph.D. in Theology. In addition he holds a post-graduate certificate in traumatic stress studies. He has been privileged to adjunct at several bible colleges, seminaries, and universities.
He is also the founder and executive director of Safehouse #Unmuzzled Advocacy Group, the nation's only advocacy agency for victims of gross clergy abuse and predatory clergy sexual misconduct within the African American charismatic church.
For more than 29 years Bishop Sinegal has dedicated his life to the work of Jesus Christ through his powerful ministry. He is a churchman and second generation episcopate. Recognized by President Barack Obama as “Bishop of the Year” in 2011, his reach has transcended both social and religious boundaries.
As an author, counselor, advisor, advocate, and successful businessman he has been deliberate to take the demonstration of the Kingdom into the world. Bishop Sinegal is the Senior Pastor of The Kingdom Church with multiple locations and he has been duly consecrated in apostolic succession, a Bishop in the Lord's church.
@bishopsinegal: on all social media platforms
Safehouse #Unmuzzled Advocacy Group: www.safehouseunmuzzled.com
Host Bio:
The Pew is edited, hosted, and produced by LaQuilia Graham, a freelance editor. She is also the author of What Every Virgin Should Know (2016) and creator of Your Beautiful Broken Heart (2018) an online course for heartbreak recovery. Ms. Graham currently resides in Brooklyn, NY.
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