This month we are exploring Heartbreak, Grief, & Loss from various perspectives. In this episode we will hear from Christian thought leader and author, Rich Pérez, as he shares his pastoral perspective on loss and collective grief. We not only explore his grief as a friend and leader, but the healing and revelations that have since followed. I first heard Rich’s story last Fall at the We Go On Tour founded by John Onwuchekwa.
So what is collective grief? According to grief specialist and founder of grief.com, David Kessler, “Collective grief is when we share a loss broadly and communally, rather than individually.” As Believers, we experienced collective grief during the pandemic in various ways as we lost fellow members, leaders (local and nationally), and our freedom to fellowship. Depending on your state, some places of worship continued to fellowship with restrictions while others went months to a year without gathering in person. Post pandemic we will continue to experience various forms of grief, including collectively.
I hope you enjoy this podcast episode as much as I did. It is important for us to understand collective grief within church culture. Also, our leaders are human and often struggle with losses in unique and challenging ways. I am grateful to Rich for his time and transparency on this topic.
Notes:
✍🏾 We talk solutions as Rich provides three (3) ways in which lay members can support their leaders in times of various forms of grief. Also around minute 45:35 he mentions how church members also encouraged him to grieve.
✍🏾Self-Discovery is something mentioned and experts recommend (article linked below). After my experience with grief from intimate heartbreak, I agree how important it is to healing
✍🏾Rich mentions Kobe Bryant’s death prior to the pandemic, and how this loss was addressed at his church. According to Kessler, Grief is ultimately about connection, so it doesn’t have to be about in-person interaction. It doesn’t matter if it’s a celebrity…a politician – all you need to feel is a connection with that person. (Timestamp about min 43:44)
✍🏾When sharing the physical symptoms he experienced (Timestamp about mark 56:09), it reminded me how grief from intimate heartbreak can express itself. Symptoms can range from lack of focus to extremes like broken heart syndrome (takotsubo cardiomyopathy). While his symptoms did not result from intimate heartbreak, it’s a reminder how much the body and mind are connected; and how those connections physically present during any time of stress, anxiety, or grief.
✍🏾The importance of a godly, supportive spouse. Rich’s wife, Anna, played a pivotal role in his experience. (Timestamp about min mark 59:10)
✍🏾 The Psalms and Lamenting- Next month we will be exploring the Psalms. Rich mentions Psalms 136 (Timestamp about mark 01:01:30) and there are many that are soothing during times of despair. I have the title and link to the book we briefly discussed below. How interesting that Rich has this book in his library!
✍🏾Therapy- Like Rich, I am an advocate for both spiritual interventions like prayer and therapy/counseling. He makes excellent points about therapeutic intervention.
✍🏾The modern role and status of pastors was something I too feel needs to be restructured. Rich’s personal and professional opinions on this topic were refreshing.
Guest Bio:
Rich Pérez is a Christian Thought Leader, Creative, and proud husband and father. A Dominican filmmaker born and raised in Dyckman, Uptown New York City, Rich attended Elim Bible institute and trained in Biblical and Theological studies. He established Christ Crucified Fellowship in 2011, a church plant, with family and friends. Was the Pastor of Vision and Teaching for 10 years before the difficult, team decision to close in 2020. Today Rich can be found speaking across the country, directing/producing at his boutique, full service production house Story 11, or on Becoming Ourselves, a new podcast with his wife Anna. They currently reside in Atlanta, GA with their two children, Josiah and Hayden.
More about Rich Pérez: rich pérezBio Siteshttps://bio.site › richperez
His book Mi Casa Uptown: https://www.bhpublishinggroup.com/product/mi-casa-uptown-2/
Host Bio:
The Pew is edited and hosted by LaQuilia Graham, a freelance editor. She is also the author of What Every Virgin Should Know (2016) and creator of Your Beautiful Broken Heart (2018) an online course for heartbreak recovery. Ms. Graham currently resides in Brooklyn, NY.
Resources mentioned:
The book mentioned Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament
by Mark Vroegop: https://www.crossway.org/books/dark-clouds-deep-mercy-tpb/
The Christianity Today/Rich Perez Podcast Episode mentioned: https://megaphone.link/CHRTDY2600535269
Works Cited:
Rediscovering Yourself After Experiencing Trauma a Psychology Today article by Annie Tanasugarn Ph.D., CCTSA.
https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief
Share this post