Continuing our series on Heartbreak, Grief, & Loss, we are joined by author and publisher Nicole D. Miller. In this episode you will hear Nicole share her journey after a devastating collegiate breakup and the lessons learned. I received Nicole’s book “How to Overcome Heartbreak: Recovering From Misguided Love” from a friend shortly after its publishing in 2014. I consider Nicole’s a true woman’s perspective because her advice about forgiveness (listen around Question 2, pg. 25) separates the girls from the women. Taking accountability for your actions and displaying humility are adult behaviors.
The book is a relatively short and easy read but stuck with me all these years because of (1) the transparent, straight shooting writing style and (2) the books that Nicole referenced which helped me to dig deeper and provide wider perspective on dating and relationships from a biblical standard. The way in which we recover makes a world of difference. Inviting God inside our pain and employing His ways, to our healing, is paramount to our recovery and wholeness. I appreciate Nicole’s perspective and the time she gave to talk about this subject.
Notes:
✍🏾 Intimate heartbreak is a form of grief.
✍🏾Nicole shares how the level of wholeness between individuals, determines the health and wholeness of the relationship (around min mark 25:30).
✍🏾Betrayal is a common theme in breakups, but when we put our trust in God we will always recover and have true victory. (Betrayal is also a theme we will explore more in the next installment of this series)
✍🏾Humility is important when processing heartbreak so that we can accept our faults during or after a relationship (about 20 min mark) .
✍🏾Nicole shares the impact of support from others, such as friends (around min mark 26:44) during recovery. Support in the from of affirmation & encouragement will speak life over/into you and provide hope for the future, after the devastation of heartbreak; a process in self-discovery.
✍🏾 Books and other resources can be helpful in our journey of recovery, even when written by people with a different denominational or political ideology (about min mark 30:48)
✍🏾Around the 24:30 min mark and 46 min mark we discuss generational curses and patterns that impact intimate relationships and decision-making.
✍🏾People are not perfect and they will let us down . Satan is the true enemy and he uses people and circumstances to harm us.
✍🏾 Not only is it easy to lose one’s self during a relationship, but it’s also common to get out of character during a breakup/divorce.
✍🏾Self-discovery, forgiveness, rejection (26:49 min mark), and suffering are themes found in the healing from collective grief as well as other types of trauma.
Guest Bio:
Nicole D. Miller is a 4x’s self-published author, blogger, and novelist. She takes immense pleasure in crafting stories that intertwine Black culture and faith and looks forward to producing edifying works that will impact her community. She is a freelance writer for Cleveland and she covers positive stories of hope in Cleveland. Additionally, she owns ND Miller Publishing, a hybrid publishing company where she specializes in assisting debut authors with manifesting their book dreams. In her spare time, she loves shopping, time with friends, anything 90s R&B and a good glass of red wine. To learn more, you can visit nicoledmiller.com or email her at nicoledmiller1983@gmail.com.
Host Bio:
The Pew is edited and hosted by LaQuilia Graham, a freelance editor. She is also the author of What Every Virgin Should Know(2016) and creator of Your Beautiful Broken Heart (2018) an online course for heartbreak recovery. Ms. Graham currently resides in Brooklyn, NY.
Resources mentioned:
Choosing God’s Best by Dr. Don Raunikar
Boundaries in Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop:
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